12.09.2011

The Exquisite Pain, VOL 400.23


What is the definiton for exquisite
The exquisite pain isn’t something uniquely created for a special person….
Like a grammy
Or an Oscar
This is for everybody
Each one of us
Letting go and hanging on all at once
Addicted
Toxic love
Taste it
U like…..
Feel it
U want more
……the exquisite pain is a combination of sweat and love secretions that mix into broken bonds and believable lies ….the exquisite pain lies
To you
In front of you
Naked
Drink it……what we should fear we become brave for, what we should shy away from
We cheer on….bring on…..
Willingly wrap the tiniest of strings around our pinkie until we knowingly bleed …
Internally…..
The exquisite pain lives at it’s best……internalized…..power silence….
What is your pain.
What hurt, is so exquisite 
that you go back for more and more,
leaving each time,
5% less of yourself…..


*****************Found in old journal from 2003, before visiting an open mic***********

7/11/03
A poem about loneliness
To be lonely or to be sick
If given a choice
Which one would you pick
You could be sick and surrounded by friends
Or play like you’re not, so the fun never ends
But to be lonely
Is to be all alone
No one at home
No one calling on the phone
The air thick with silence
Your imagination running out
Your throat is pulsating
With the urge to shout
Time is moving slowly
And still not one call
So you give up, take your clothes off
And into the bed you crawl
If at the beginning
I were given a choice
There would’ve been no stutter in my voice
And no hesitation for me to say
That I’d choose sick
Over lonely any day

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