Lucky #32

This weekend was a classic example of why I think EVERY birthday should be celebrated. Society tries to dictate for us what the important birthdays are…..the world according to america says the 16th, 18th, 21st, 25th, 30th, and more recently added 40th and 50th birthday are the ones worth mentioning….look at the cards, the cake toppers, the banners….and it makes sense….those birthdays happen to linked with significant milestones….you drive at sixteen….become legally adult at eighteen…you can drink alcohol at twenty-one….get into most, if not all, clubs by twenty-five, which is your ideal age to be leaving the nest….thirty is like your true crossover into adulthood….its where you take the lessons of the twenties and apply them…forty is when you add the sexiness of your youthful twenties to the wiseness of your thirties and officially have gained this personal control about yourself….fifty is …..honestly, I'm not sure why fifty is celebrated but im sure its something as worthy as these other reasons…..but you don't get to these ages, without passing thru all the other ages….the same as you pass thru these ages!!! One year at a time….one day at a time….those forgotten birthdays are the meat that makes the "glorified" birthdays worth celebrating…..so why not honor them the same way you would the others…..i'm not saying you should go out and party, get drunk and forget what happened….its a to each his own kind of atmosphere….whatever it is that makes you happy, is what you should spend each and every birthday (or birthday weekend or week) doing…..

There was something significant about me turning 32…..don't need hallmark to make a card with that number on it….don't need the dollar store to have banner saying happy 32nd birthday…..don't even need a friend to say happy birthday for me to know that it carried and will continue to carry the same weight, if not more, as my 30th….it is a birthday I lived to see….i can forever say I survived life long enough to turn 32….i may not get anymore, and God knows I want plenty more, but what if I never see another….lets keep it real….we really are not promised tomorrow and there are millions of ways to die…..celebrate! it's the day I was born….its the day that my mom gave me life….its the day that everything this life has become and will be, started……I advocate celebrating your birthdays as they come and stop waiting for society to tell you which one is more important….and when you do.

You will have moments like this:


Awesome is the word that comes to mind, when I think about the weekend that almost ended up one day shorter due to weather activity….by grace of God, I have been anointed with a power and relationship with words that has put me in the position to meet some of the best people in the world to party with….if I went step by step, this blog would be never-ending, so im hoping to do my best to "summarize" it as short as possible. Friday – birthday dinner poetry party extravaganza …..i guess it was about 16 ppl over…..we had a long table set up, with LOTS of food and wine, and together we prayed, ate, laughed, had childish conversations, played Cherades: Poetry Edition, performed poetry and partied hard…I freestyled a 13 minute song to the tune of a "gee-tar", dedicated to every person that was sitting at the table…it was priceless…..we went hard until four thirty that morning …..i got lots of cards, beautiful wine glasses, lots of NYC related items…no scratch that …I got a really cute NYC shirt, the coolest box of NYC walking tours with all the info about different tourist destinations and how to get there and all about it and …yeah…..thats whatsup right dere…l. o. l. ….i also got a beautiful journal, some gift cards to borders, the most exquisite storage box with matching stationary, a beautiful book of poetry that I actually almost bought a cpl wks ago…..a magical earring that just makes me a better person ; ) MONEY! A Fight Like a Girl breast cancer awareness shirt…i think that's it, and if I forgot anything, its not for lack of trying…I really haven't had a chance to relish in all I have received…as this blog continues, that will make more sense.

Saturday, I was up by ten am and needing to rehearse but I was alternating between the bed, the laptop and the bed…it was hard to get up….just a lil tired I guess….but….by 6, I was on the road to Cincinnati for The Movement show…..got there, hotel next door to the venue (Rhino's), which just so happen to have the DOPEST stage I think I have ever been on…..it was so Hollywood glam….loved the place….of course we shut it down nice, dressed in our pink for breast cancer!! Afterwards, the spot turns into a club scene and we stayed and clubbed it up!!! By midnight we were drinking tequila shots (it was my birthday) and hitting the dancefloor….by one, I was legally drunk but having a blast….we took pictures, videos, danced, sweat, and then went out to IHOP, of which I had spoken about all night long….after eating a couple bits of pancakes, I fell asleep at the table…l.o.l. back at the room, I slept in three tutu's, a coat, hat, leggings, socks, jewelry (earrings, bracelets, necklace, rings) and gloves….i woke up in the middle of the night almost dying of a heatstroke but for some reason I stayed that way until nine am….at check out time, I shot video of gangsta rapper Willie Cain's new hit single "suck my cock bitch!!!" …needless to say, you had to be there and I had a lot of laughter…..we did IHOP again Sunday morning, which was more laughter and video…..all together, it was me, jus will, denalsia, Toni, Victoria, Toni' sis and will's friend…..we acted up. Nuff said.

Sunday….my actual birthday…I had partied so much, it felt like my birthday was Saturday night…..made it home by two pm, kicked it with Eddie Cane and listened to his new release and then stace came over….who knew she was baiting me???? We hung out, I let them in on my show making process, because at that point, I still had no show planned….hadnt had the time, although I had been working on brainstorms and poems and stuff…..they left around seven, which gave me two hours to finalize something and find something to wear….got to midtown for my first feature and come to find out, these suckas have decorated, bought a cake with my flyer on it and surprised me…it was beautiful….i almost cried when I saw the cake….like the thought of people going thru all this just for me….it was so ironic because I had been thinking about something ….why do I always plan my own parties??? And the answer is because I never trust people to plan anything for me….not because I don't feel loved or anything…I really honestly don't know why I feel that, but I fear no one doing anything and then me not celebrating, which kinda goes back to the beginning….so I always plan my own ….i'm having a revelation in typing that….thats exactly how I have felt for some reason, and now come to find out, staCe had been at my house baiting me ….then…as I was getting dressed….i started getting all these text messages….once I grabbed my phone, I had several messages from people saying they couldn't make it…..it was heartbreaking….i immediately turned to facebook and typed, " if one more person texts me and says they cannot make it….." then I deleted it….i said to myself ''you know what, show must go one"…even if you sit alone…" it made me even more nervous….plus I'm always nervous about people not coming to my features, so I really secretly lean on "my circle" when they are there….i got there and they were all sitting there….it didn't even dawn on me at first….lol…they got me…..so back to the cake….i looked at that cake and just felt love….even recalling that moment right now, I am feeling that love….i stood there as still as possible to fight back those tears….i had on black eyeliner and I didn't have time or the necessary emergency make up kit to recover from black eyes, one eye, no eyes…..i been proven wrong : ) the universe does return what you put out !!!! friendship is so underrated…relationships in general are underrated….we need people in our lives to remind us of good times…..for the spirit of laughter….i bet everyone in that room has a sob story playing right now….but for this weekend….for some several times, for others just that one night, we left it all behind and became the subject matter of "toasting to the good life" ….

…..the feature was great…..i enjoyed myself….i made a lil cash…i touched at least one person that I'm well sure of and I think I may have reintroduced myself to some others….i felt like I owned myself…I owned my poetry…I created the show as I went and I hoped for the best ….my overall feeling was I got the best….i felt great….i looked cute….i soooooo wanna win this fashionista contest….but I digress.

Midtown….i felt the love….it was the end to a weekend of nothing short of love…..i spent my weekend, my birthday weekend literally engulfed and covered and surrounded in love….i was just bathing it…..sorta like a love Jacuzzi….it was great….i often wonder what exactly did i/do I do, to become a recipient of such a splendid feeling….those moments are the color dreams….and its so possible to always be in color…..or at least to spend more time in color, rather than black and white…."dreaming in color" – this reference came to me in the middle of the night while I was dreaming…literally….and it spoke so loudly that I woke up and searched for my phone and typed a note on my screen that said "I dream in color" …its still there…I didn't even erase it…I knew that was to be something….should have shared that at the show, but like I said…I was just winging it….had some theatrics planned, but opted for the simple version of just being me…..how better to end my birthday weekend…..amongst beautiful people, feeling beautiful, looking beautiful, and taking in the energy of love and throwing it back out…..thank God this is my life…trials and all……its been a busy weekend…

A weekend that I will forever cherish and celebrate for all its glory and embarrassment….for all its love and rebirth….what if I never celebrated turning 32…..what if I waited to turn 40, to celebrate again…..what if I die at 38 (GOD FORBID PLS) ….

Did I mention andre carson left a happy birthday on my wall??? Does he do that for all his facebook friends??? No, nevermind, I don't want an answer to it….i want to continue to think I'm on his VIP list ….lol….

Thank you seems less descriptive….the appreciativeness is overwhelming…..one thousand and one thanx to each and every person that I saw on my birthday weekend poetry extravaganza !!!! to every moment of laughter, every secret post, the creators of the surprise, midtown, the party attendees, the movement, the people who traveled with the movement…..to every one…every last one of you. I love you dearly. If this were my last breathe, I'd take it knowing I was loved.

Thank you.

Celebrate yourself.