La Douleur eXquise...the Countdown Starts Now

Ladies and gents,

we are approximately 8 days away from my completed cd!!!! 

Those are words i thought i'd never be able to say.  The pain of creating this album and to have it be everything i imagine it to be, has definitely been 'exquisite" to say the least. 

I am falling and tripping over my own two feet with excitement!  There is so much happening and going on around me, for me and for my people and fellow artists that it is almost scary.  I live in a city full of  talented people and I am so stoked to be apart of this culture.  To be able to say I know so and so or I met so and so and yeah he/she is real cool!  But for me, the only child, big city dreaming, quiet girl, I cannot believe that things have started off so hard and fast for me.  After basically a two year hiatus, I have returned to the scene, refreshed, with a new sense of self and what I want to do with my art and the ball has not stopped running.  My last two shows involved levels of difficulty that almost threw me into woman overboard, but in this moment, I just had an epiphany:  it’s the concept of to whom much is given, much is required, which is something I always tell myself to pull myself out of the stressful situations when I feel like I’m on the verge of cracking.  But even more than that, I just realized, as you take bigger and better steps, closer to your dreams and goals, the challenges and adversity grows and gets bigger.  If I were still having the same type of challenges I had when I first came out, then wouldn’t that almost imply that I hadn’t grown much or taken too many steps away from my comfort zone.  I should be experiencing stuff I have never experienced before, both good and bad.  And I am doing just that.  But I should also be learning and attempting to improve myself with each waking day that passes, and I am doing so.  I realize one of the biggest things I need to work on is how I deal with the situations.  I absolutely cannot tolertate myself having another facebook/twitter meltdown so the world knows how stressed out I am as its happeing.  What ever happened to the good ole me that didn’t say anything until it was over.  Suddenly I am over-vocal, thinking that I am supposed to live my life out in front of the facebook cyber cams.  I thinks not.  So that needs some work.  I’ll undoubtedly encounter another problem that will stress me out and when I do, I shall attempt a better approach to it.  This last time, my girl StaCe told me was basically God’s way of seeing how bad you want it.  What a priceless group of words.  I shall carry that with me from here on.  I will NEVER forget her saying that.  If I don’t want it, I will give up.  I will sit and say I can’t make it.  I won’t keep trying until I have exhausted all possibilities.  So.  Yeah.  That really helped.  And now I KNOW I want it, if I never knew before.  Lol.

So I say all this to bring up the topic of  La Douleur eXquise, which will be have its FINAL recording session Nov 12., which is next Saturday.  My cd will have crossed the completed line a week from tomorrow.  I can’t believe it.  I keep wondering am I jumping the ball for planning all the celebrations, but then I realize, this time is different.  This time, it is about to be DONE.  As in finished, ready for  pressing.  This time, as MJ would say, This Is It.   Yesterday I basically solidified where the Soiree is going to be.  Which is a place very befitting of me.  Very very very me.  The Black Apple Boutique:  Fashion, New York and intimate.  All me.  From the first time I walked in there it just seemed like the place I was supposed to be.  Just because.  So there that is.  As time moves along and plans develop, I will report and post whats going on, who’s invited and where and when.  I have decided upon a weeklong series of events, nothing big and/or extravagant, but something intimate, quaint and especially creatively enjoyable.  This will be “a week of januarie in December” and it will be unlike anything you’ve experienced before.  The cd release soiree is invite only, which I will blog about why at a later date, but with a weeklong list of things going on, there is and will be something for everyone.  Also, if you want to come to the CD Soiree, all you gotta do is let me know, and boom, you’re invited.  But the Soiree is something extremely personal to me and I want to share it most definitely with those who have been on this journey with me from day one and kept me going when I was ready to toss towels and shit.  But like I said, more to come on that later. 

I am currently still mapping out all the plans, but as of right now now, there is of course the “newbeginnings I Was Here” LDE cd  Soiree, but before that it will be the preparty, which has a bigger purpose than having an extra party.  But more to come later ; )   .  In addition to those two events, there will also be a FWP Reunion Brunch, which if you were around during the bruches I’ve held and my kinship with Allen Imagery & Tony Styxx and Mike Perez (wherever in the world he is), then you will understand the brunch a lot better, but it just dawned on me that, that is something that should be a part of this production.  I also want to pick a day to give back to my community in some way.  Seeing as though it will happen right in time for the Christmas and New Years holidays, I’m thinking about food or gifting random people in need or maybe not so much “in need”.  Haven’t decided yet, but I want to do something.  I’ve always wanted to pass out teddy bears and do cute poems at Riley Hospital, which if you read my stat on my relationship with Riley, then that should make total sense, so I don’t know.  That part is still being concocted.  Other than that, I have a few other things I want to do, including a “grammy style” event at possibly WriteOn because they were my first choice for my cd release soiree since they have ALWAYS been so supportive of me and my endeavors.  So idk…still have to get back with Ja and see what we can come up with. 

Everything mentioned here is still on the draft boards; some of it will change, most probably wont change too much.  Please stay tuned, stay in the know, stay aware.  When januarie n December gets here, you will not want to miss it.  Why have I chosen to celebrate for an entire week?  Because this is my baby.  This is my heart.  If you only knew how much shit has gone on behind the scenes then you would say girl you better celebrate hard!!! After all, I don’t “plan” to have anymore cds drop.  But who knows what the future holds.  However, as the plan stands, I have to celebrate this like I would my birthday.  And with all the reasons I have that you will never even know about, and all the ones that you do know about, it will take at least a week to get all the proper celebrations out!  Love to you all.  Stay tuned.  “Lets take this one to the grammy’s yaw!!” – Merci

La Douleur eXquise.

janYork