#FoolsGold, Vol4

I fear being forgotten by people I loved with the best of me.

But i can't let my life be dictated by those who deem me forgettable.

I wrote a poem early last year.....it was called Bruised Muse in Heels.
It derived from its first line that jumped into my head one day/night and i rolled with it. The line went:



My ex gave me a tape dispenser for my birthday. And that poem was born...i think.
Idek anymore...but i do know the new guy....
the one i fell for

the one that told me he wanted a "DIRECT CONNECTION" with me, who then went on to feel UNCONNECTED to me but refrained from telling me that,

the one i loved ignorantly
eyes wide open
i can't even say i was blind....i was not.

The one i exerted too much energy in
and the one who i made scared via my conversation yesterday, (i never threatened him)

that one and two

....he quoted this poem a few times....when i first lined up for his line of fire....
i remember it
it was one of the things that caught my eye....here he was quoting me. ....i thought he had never been listening.... i dug it...even typing this, i felt my lips turn up :)   Remembering it....lol, he made me FEEL....

He quoted my poem...
my lines....

and went on to feed me love AND respect out of a 1/8 teaspoon.
And i allowed it while still performing that poem all over the city.

I'm ashamed of me.
Not just because of that.....but because of this as well...this is ME:


I'm unbelievable in my actions and allowance. I let a jester get a wholesale discount to my body, my life, my heart and most of all, my love. And he can't understand why i want to rearrange his thoughts about me. Can't say i'm sad he thinks he should watch his back.  But i can say i believe Karma will do it for me.  In the meantime, I have a show to plan and Karma to KEEP good. He said i never understood him enough to call him a King....i think i never knew he was a jester. But i let his ego keep that one.  What a laughable moment tho.

Dear men of the world,

any woman, LABEL OR NOT, who puts your dick her in her mouth after the two of you have DISTINCTLY spoken in depth that you were NOT fuck buddies, will more than likely feel pissed off if another woman is IN LOVE with you all over social media.  So the best thing to do is be honest and allow that woman to decide whether or not she wants the taste of your dick so badly that she will chance licking some other woman's pussy.  But i digress nshit.

 God forgive my negative thoughts, missteps and mistaken identity of a king.
May i never have another seat at the kids table.  Clown cake ass nword... #OneTwoThat


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