Crash ....circa 2008/2009ish...

I dont know what year it was to be exact, but i can remember where i was, what i was doing and who i was with when i wrote what turned to be one of my, if not THE, favorite poem i've ever written.  Ironically, i've NEVER shared this poem.  I have thought about it.  Thought about slamming with it several times....have it memorized and everything.  But i LOVE this poem.  I don't know why, i think its just the randomness of which i wrote it and the nonchalantness of what was happening in the room with me when i was writing it that just makes me looooove it.  whatever the case, this poem, is in my top two of favorite poems i've written and it takes a lot to make me love my work like this, but i think thats the reason it has never been shared until now.  There may have always been this subconscious voice in the back of my head that would not allow this poem to be put on poetic block to get gawked at or silently stared it.....it would have set me back 400 years to have people not understand this poem or love it in the way that i do, so i felt it best to leave it where it was....taped on my bedroom wall......and i'll be honest....this poem has been taped on my bedroom wall for the better of a year.....sometimes i would look at it from my bed and read it to myself......most of the time, i forgot about it.....not because it sucks....but because i wanted to share it soooo bad, but more than i wanted to share, i wanted it to stay in the same favorited light i viewed it in.  So...in leui of my newest poem that has been making its way around the mics, Parked Cars, i thought it quite funny that i had written this more sensual, literary version of the same poem, years ago....i didnt even peep that until a couple of days ago....actually, it was yesterday.  But what the hay, i revisit subjects, its just me ; ) .....so i am sharing this now.  Not because i no longer fear what people will think about it or not think, but because i have (and continue to) grow as a woman and artist and now, i have finally reached a point where it really doesn't matter what other people think.  I will love it regardless....because i wrote it and everyone doesn't have that ability.  It was honest in its moment of birth, still rings true and came to be out of pure Studio Tom Foolerly.

I was at rehearsal, late night with Allen Imagery and Uriah (StonE Kornnelius) and we were watching a stand up show....either Dave Chappelle or Mike Epps.....whichever it was, was hilarious......somehow....this line popped into my head..... "intertwined like mangled steel wrapped around utility poles" ....

i'm sure a conversation of something was taking place as well that may have sparked that line, but i dont know or remember.....all i know is this is what came from it:



Crash
 

Intertwined like mangled steel wrapped around utility poles

Wounded bleeding holes in hearts get bandaged with the airbags of another’s protection

We’ve crashed into each other

Erections are hardening

Panties are moistening

Hearts are healing

Blood is racing

Clocks are ticking

Ships are sinking

Emotions are sepeding and head on collisions are inevitable and before we all know

We crash

Pain scatters the pavement like glass unleashing screams mixed with tickles, cries mixed with laughter and yells…

Interrupted by blood colored blushing that pinches cheeks upon the arrival of surprising happiness

We crash

And become test dummies for adulterous affairs that are brutally exotic

And painfully erotic

Intoxicating

DUI

Breaking all the laws of monogamy

Killing commitments, murdering vows, promises and good intentions

We crash

Selfishly avoiding our pain with the lack of procrastination to push the peddle to the meddle and cruise for brighter skies….

….automatically shifting from the neutral space of once warm beds now cold with animosity

And drive down the secret lover’s lane of lies

Wondering if the other side really has green grass, yet prepared for a rendevous that won’t last past the next set of footprints the sun leaves across the sky

And now lives are mixed up like grape and cherry kool-aid, creating darkened colored confusion with sprinkles of sugar floating at the surface….just enough to make it sweet…

…and while our feet dangle and our  toes wiggle in the heavenly crystals of the sugar

…the new spoons we use for tasting leave bittersweet flavors on our tongue from the reality of newly formed disconnections….as old relationships reach the Omega

….and new blossoms are basking in the Alpha….

But who’s to say new beginnings were meant to last as long, if not longer, than fresh past..

We’ve each unlocked our seatbelts

And are being thrusted towards windshields tha will eventually cave outwards as the bodies of love, infactuation and desire fly out….

…and we will lie on the ground

…no one next to each other…

Separate …

But equal

Like the sugar

That danced on the surface of our cool need of aid

Bandaides can’t heal our scars now permanent

And we will sit amongst each other, yet still alone

Intertwined like mangled steel wrapped around utility poles

Mars and venus now worlds apart, yet growing closer together

We drive

We speed

We prepare

To crash

Only to discover

We should have just stayed home.

copyright 2010