ok....so the blog you are about to embark upon reading was actually written the night before i left for the "irregular flow" tour....much, much MUCH has happened since then, but i have to make sure to stay in order and in control ....and honest....
so i'm going to start here....and throughout the week, play catch up....and boy
trust me...
you dont wanna miss out on reading the ish that has happened along the way......so....LETS GET IT!!!
I don’t even feel like counting on my fingers how many hours I have left before I leave, but I can say I leave at 7:33 am tomorrow morning and its 4:27 pm now……im excited….im anxious…
Nervous
Ready
Scared
Excited
Melancholy
Bouncy
Lots of emotions…I feel like there are a few people I didn’t get to spend enough time with and now that the time has arrived and im officially out of time, I wish I had of found some extra from some where….
…had a good time with my mom for her birthday and I really wish we could have hung out some more….hung out with my aunt, while washing, which is where I am now….left to do today:
Pack
Clean up house
Meet with allen imagery
Meet with Jus Will
Get online to get flight info
Meet with kim lee mays
Finish burning cds
Finish making labels for business card cover-ups
Practice poems
Record poems for the flight to listen to
....im sure there is SOMeTHING else I have left off, but for what its worth I have been going essentially nonstop today….running from here to there, washing at the final hour, trying to find bargains on the stuff I needed….yeah….not enough hours left in this day…and I am butt ass tired….but I must continue on, for I am leaving this place in the morning….
and how nice it is to have people that love you and care about you....in the weeks leading up to this day that is upon me, i have been blessed with food, food and mo food....lol....Keebs and Country Verse cooked a down home meal for me and Gabby that was chucked full of fatback, calories and buttery delight.....she made greens, cornbread (which is ranking in the top 3), salmon patties, fried chicken, black eyed peas, deviled eggs, scalloped potatoes, peach cobbler, apple crisp and ice cream....well she bought the ice cream....needless to say we pigged out, had a good time and felt a lot of love...i so love them for that.....then....my girl tamara took me to Ricks Boatyard....she told me she wanted to take me to lunch, but i was thinking more of Scotty's....cheap eats and free wifi.....uh uh.....we went to ricks....sat out on the patio closest to Eagle Creek and the boat docks....we were the only two out there, in the sun, laughing, drinking Pinot Grigio and Pina Colada's....we ordered crab cakes as an appetizer, she had crab stuffed ravioli, i had fried catfish....we PIGGED out .....i mean it was wonderful.....wow...the love...and then
….last night, I went to midtown….took a nap at 730 and almost couldn’t get up from it cause I was so tired……forced myself up and dressed and out the door….had fifteen dollars to my name….and no cds….well…I had three cds…I had pretty much decided to head to NC with about 10-20 cds, of which I would buy some more once I sold out of those and continue that process as often as necessary….
Eclectic Poetic blew up the spot….the setting was different, wonderful…dope….the crowd was super thick….reeeeeaaaal thick…I was sitting in the front row next to stacy….i was the last poet on before E.P.’s first set….before allen brought me up, he mentioned our relationship and how we are kinda looking at everyone else who seems to think we are still “beefing”…he professed his love for me (not like that), and how no matter what we will always be brother/sister…..it was a touching moment that included a few of “fuck what yaw think’s” and a couple of other choice words for the haters….
Nuff said….
But before he brought me up, he said that I would be the only person on the open mic to be able to do two poems…since I was leaving….it was thick in there that the open mic was restricted to one poem and out….then he went on and said that he wanted the audience to chip in a dollar or whatever in the tip jar for me….for my trip….i was soooo surprised…it was the furthest thought from my head….a tip jar…for me??? …..woooow….i performed King of Queens and Preaching to the Choir….got some nice love from the crowd and collected my tip jar…..when I got home I counted the money….it had $110!!!!!! I almost passed out ….i think the tears bumrushed my eyes and did I forget to mention that when I got up on stage I began crying in front of all those people while I was trying to simply thank them??!!!! What a lame!!!
Even after I sat down, it was hard to collect myself….i was waaaaay overwhelmed…..the love in the room….the hugs and well wishes, the donations and the encouragements ….it was too much….i needed it ….i swear I did….especially the money….i was able to go out and buy 100 cds to start with…..
…..every thing that I needed to buy before I left I was able to buy, and still have money to take with me on the plane…..i needed that blessing…..i needed that encouragement and that show of belief…..i was given so many well wishes that it just made me realize how hard its going to be, to be away for the first time for so long (I’ll adjust quickly)…
…when I woke up Sunday….i went to church….i never not cry in church…maybe its just my church, maybe its my sins or maybe its just me….i was sent to the front row of the church for the first time EVER…IN LIFE….i sat there wondering if there was a reason I was sitting there…..
Reason number 1 : I had perfect and easy access to the alter for prayer time…
Reason number 2 : while listening to the choir sing….and I mean they were SANGING!!!!....one of the members left the pulpit and came over to me and said “I don’t know what made me come over here, but something just told me to come over and hug you”….we had never met….i don’t know her….but I needed her hug….not even for that moment….i was my usual emotional self as I am in church…..but I needed that hug….a hug I may never would have received had I sat anywhere else….
Reason number 3 : Paul was there….paul…as the tithes were being dispersed I looked up and saw a man with really bad skin, sunglasses (wtf?) and what looked like a permanent limp…..there are no two of those alike…oh…and the cornrows WITH the beads at the bottom were a dead giveaway….this man has to be in his mid-50’s…and he looks like he’s lived 8 lives….Paul…my ex’s best friend, running mate and the man who stood there and snorted cocaine while my ex choked me until I nearly passed out….the same man who saw me naked, but not because I wanted him to…it was a game my ex was playing….paul….the man who was shot up five or so times, hanging with my ex….he nearly lost his life….there is a ton more to that story, but my point is he was there…in church…and the fact that he didn’t catch fire that reignited with each step was enough for me to feel……happy for him…I’m changing
Reason number 4 : I was touched by the praying robber’s story…..his story is the black man story I write for/about…I know every one wasn’t and won’t be touched by it…it sounds cliché …it sounds predictable I guess….but does that make his truth any less true….and clearly he’s remorseful….if I had the balls to rob someone, I can’t say I wouldn’t….i just aint got the balls for it….or for jail cause I KNOW I’d get caught….anyway….sitting right behind me was his mother and father…..i handed them a cd and said your son is the reason why I write….i left church feeling blessed, feeling like I may have just blessed someone else…I shook my pastor’s hand for the first time….i saw more people I knew from school or from the arts in there….
And I knew it
I just knew that day was a blessed one….
And when I got to midtown….
It was confirmed…
I asked Him for a sign…that I was on the right trail…following the right plan….eating from the right side of the fork….
He delivers answers all the time…..we just have to be open to see them….
They don’t always come with Periods at the end….
I leave out in a matter of hours….
Losing dennis was a blessing in disguise…I don’t have time for people who don’t support what it is I’m doing….
Cause im doing it regardless…..i’ll be damned if I EVER let another man (or woman) tell me how to live out my dreams…..
Stay tuned…..the take off is upon us and im gonna be blogging like crazy….
And to think….before the year is over, I will have been to NEEEEEEEW YOOORK!!!!
BALTIMORE
PHILADELPHIA
WEST VIRGINIA
NORTH CAROLINA
SOUTH CAROLINA
NEW JERSEY
WASHINGTON DC
….and only two of these places have my footprints already!!! None of them have my CD;)
LET’S GET IT!
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