Q.

Queen.

You were the type of friend that embodied every part of me that you adored and never wavered, even when I encouraged you to.

You read every blog. EVERY blog, no matter the level of importance to me, you read. You read my main blogs, my side blogs, my start up blogs, and my unfinished blogs.  You attended shows….you came over before shows to upwind with me and then after shows (if you could make it) to unwind.  We had so many parties of two, that I don’t know who I am supposed to do this with now. 

So I concede to do it with no one.

I appreciate everyone in my life.

But right now, in this moment, as I listen to this song by Kelis (Runnin), I am realizing that you are gone. Most days, I pretend mentally/subconsciously that you are a phone call away.  But you aren’t. And every time I post a blog here, and it has ZERO views because I didn’t attach a link to fb, I am reminded that you are gone.

Usually, I would always see ONE person had read it. It never says who, it just does a number count. I always knew it was you.  Never confirmed it.  Now I have.

….the worst part of death is I don’t know if I will EVER see you again, or if I do, if you will even remember it was me.