The Purge

"...............I try to gain control by displacing my device….

But its only in the other room….

….i leave the phone in my pocket cause I know its not ringing

Coat pocket that is….

But I want it

I leave the coat on the couch cause I’m chilling in the house

But I need my phone…..

I write a poem,

warm up by standing on the vent,

smoke a blunt,

walk the dogs

call a couple of my friends

When it all ends-

-I want to call him

Text him

Ask him how long will this foolish dance of lets not love each other continue

But I should I woman up

Allow the over to be done

Give up  the ghost and the future, the possibility

If it was meant to be, it wouldn’t be so hard

Would it ?

I wanna call him

Talk for a short time, maybe say I just called to say hi,

I wonder if I could just call to say ….hi ?

I wanna text him

Three dots and nothing else just to see if he will react

I would what his reaction would be, but what if there isn’t one, what if this would be a shot in the dark interrupted by an ignore signal...

I wonder if he wondering if I’m wondering what he’s wondering

I wanna call him ................"